Funniest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded - Steven Price

\nHere are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There's something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue--from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said: I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.--Rita Rudner I don't know if it's good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.--Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.--Malcolm Forbes The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, 'You know what? Let's just grab lunch.'--Bill Maher \nA collection of the greatest witticisms from the world of politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people need a good laugh!